Tag Archives: nicu

History…Ethan’s NICU Stay


Taken from Blog Post July 25, 2012

May 11
Mommy gets discharged and baby needs to stay in hospital for 5 more days…this was definitely not the way I thought our first week would go…

So as I said in the earlier post, they took him to the NICU the first night in the hospital due to his quick breathing… I still wish that they would have told me that rather than me waking at 12 am wondering where my baby was, but at least he was safe and being taken care of…The diagnosis was inhalation of amniotic fluid (which had meconium in it, but that wasn’t the worry, even though it was for me) which caused fluid in the lungs, similar to pneumonia, so he needed IV antibiotics.  Since the doctor and nurses knew I wanted to exclusively breastfeed, they put him on a saline/sugar water( I think) drip IV. When I got to the NICU first thing that morning, I wanted to feed him to get him off the one IV.

This is where it started to get hairy…The nurse on duty said “alright let’s do this”… I was thinking great, they are going to help me, they are so supportive…So my boob came out, the nurse is helping me put it in his mouth, standing over my shoulder, telling me things…ok, so this wasn’t going like I planned, it didn’tfeel like help…Ethan was having latching issues (he would get like 2-3 pulls let go, “forget” how to go back on…it became stressful…then the nurse started saying “well if he doesn’t eat, we can’t get him off the IV you should just let us supplement him with formula” I’m thinking hell no! I then politely said “No, I would like to see the lactation specialist and keep trying” she seemed to kind of huff out of the room. Well, this little stressful situation turned into a more stressful situation…Casey was great and went out on the hunt for the lactation specialist. He was started to get really frustrated with the way the nurses were acting about breastfeeding.  He found her and she came in.

Now, my mom, Casey, lactation specialist, two nurses, myself and Ethan were in his NICU room…the room was big, but not for all these people. So the lactation specialist, who was awesome, was helping me, while the nurses were moving about the room(annoying)…we were really getting him to latch on and each time he would improve the number of pulls, but he would then come off and again “forget” how to get back on…the lactation specialist, said that my colostrums was there and no worries about production, but my nipples weren’t staying “out” so she said that she would get me these nipple shield that helped pull out my nips. Then he started to cry, because he was becoming frustrated. His crying then made the nurses start saying “ok, enough, he’s stressed out” I agreed, and said I would try again. The lactation specialist said that she needed to see another patient and she would find me in my room later to discuss things and what not. I was thinking great, she’s going to help, and we are going to get this rolling.

I went back to my room to shower and relax, because as all this commotion is going on, I had to remember I’m still healing too. I’m supposed to be taking it easy too. Ha yeah right, but when my baby can’t be with me, I need to be near my son. So after a quick shower, the lactation specialist comes in… first words “wow! It smells so good in here, what do you use in the shower that smells so good?”…lol I told her of  bath and body works… we both giggled. She has the shields, gives them to me to wear. She also shows me how to hand express milk, and how to use the pump they brought me. I really liked her, she was very encouraging and she said, “I want to apologize that the lactation specialist didn’t come find you. Even if you weren’t in the room, she should have looked for you in the NICU.” I told her how thankful I was and she left.
It was time to go back and begin feeding. Well, it kind of started out the same, he was on there for 2-3 pulls
then would come off and “forgot” how to get back on, this is when one of the nurses got m a nipple shield that had holes in it. AMAZINGLY, it worked! He would get on there (maybe with a little coaxing with some breast milk in a syringe(shoot a little in his mouth and then he would start suckling at the nip. It was great!

Finally he was eating! Unfortunately, since it was so late in the day when we both figured out the breastfeeding … the doctor came in and recommended that we supplement him for the night so they can take out the IV tomorrow. Casey and I really really really did not want to, but we decided it was better to get that stupid IV out. So he was supplemented formula for one day…(man his poop and breath stunk…) I didn’t give him the bottles, because I did not want him to associate a bottle with me.

May 12-16

This whole supplementing thing and how the nurses were trying to force me to supplement a lot with formula, I WAS ON A MISSON. I told myself that this baby would be supplemented with my breast milk overnight when I wasn’t at the hospital.

Now I could have stayed at the hospital with him in his room, but for my mental health, Casey convinced me it wasn’t good for my head to stay there for the 5 days, but to come home and sleep at home and go back first thing in the am… he was right, but the first time I came home it was bad. I cried the way home I didn’t want to leave him… Casey just held my hand and let me cry. He understood. Then I got myself under control and then we pulled in the driveway… my parents had decorated the house with and “it’s a boy!” stuff and blue ribbons… that made me spiral to tears again, because I was home and baby wasn’t…I walked through the house and said as little as possible, brought the dogs outside and just cried… and cried… my mom set up a nice little “bed” for me on the couch. So when I was done, I went and sat there…drifting in TV shows..Only thinking about going back to the hospital to see my baby. We went back after dinner and stayed till 1 AM.

So back at the hospital the next day, I had the nipple shield and he was doing great! After every feeding, I pumped. I was and still am producing a great amount of milk for my little man. I gave the hospital enough milk that they gave me 3 bottles to bring home when it was time to bring him home. I was so happy with that! To me that was the “Boom Bitches, what do you think now?!”

Our experience in the NICU was overall great! There were only two things that killed us.
1-      The emphasis on formula- even though every word out of their mouths was breast milk is best, it’s the best thing you could do…they were still trying to push formula. I really think it’s because they can measure it. They can see how much he’s eating. And obviously, with breast milk they can’t unless it’s in the bottle.

  1. I’m so glad that he only had formula for one day… his breath and poop stunk…

2-      Nurse X I’ll call her… Here we are in the NICU (not because he’s underweight, early, or deathly sick…so we would hold him, love him, and be there all the time… well nurse X came in and said “Oh no wonder why he never cries, you’re always holding him. You should really leave him and not hold him so much. Hold him all you want when you get home.” Casey and I were flabbergasted… Like, how dare you tell me that?! So we complained not like a bitchy complainer, but we said something… that’s not right to tell first time parents who are dying inside because their baby is here in the NICU just for antibiotics… and she wasn’t our nurse for the rest of the stay.

One observation I made was that I was the only mom that was there all the time… I was there from about 7 AM till 1AM…other parents came and went… I’m not sure how they could do that… it was funny one of the nurses said, “You’re amazing. You’re making my job easy. Now only if you could do the meds…lol” that made me feel really good!

When Wednesday the 16th came and the doctor gave us the go ahead that after his last dose of antibiotics in the evening he could go home, we were so excited! I did a little dance. I couldn’t wait to get my little man home! I called our pediatrician, made an appointment for the following day… it was great!
Taking him home was the best thing ever.

Even though our first week wasn’t what we planned, he’s healthy and was well taken care of.

In the NICU with All His Wires

In the NICU with All His Wires

First Mother's Day in the Hospital

First Mother’s Day in the Hospital

In the Carseat...Ready to Go!

In the Carseat…Ready to Go!

Nana and Poppop Bought hims a Cake

Nana and Poppop Bought hims a Cake

We just got an invitation in the mail from the NICU for their 1 year celebration and they are making it like a reunion… we are thinking about going.

*I respect all those moms in a NICU situation…this is just how I was feeling at the time.

History and Background Ethan’s Birth Story~May 9, 2012


From a post on my old blog July 18, 2012

This is overdue, just like Ethan! :o) Some parts may be TMI… but too bad!

May 9, 2012 will be a day that Casey and I will never forget. Here is what went down:

The night before, just before I went to bed, I felt a real good Braxton Hick, but thought nothing of it, since I had been feeling a lot of those lately…

Casey woke up for work at 5:00AM. He jumped in the shower, and I woke up too. I thought I had to use the restroom (kind of like a poop cramp). So there I went said good morning to Casey. Well this trip to the bathroom was different…I peed and something fell out, my mucus plug. I was like ok, this is good in 24-48 hours, and labor will begin (that’s what everything online said). I told Casey what just happened and he’s like “ok, do I do anything?” I say “No, it should take awhile remember all the videos?!…we both laughed)

So I went back to bed… 10 minutes later (Casey is now out in the kitchen making his breakfast) I get another cramp that was like a period cramp, but definitely different. I walked out to the kitchen and told and said “Case, don’t get comfortable at work, I think that this might lead to something today…” (In the back of my mind from child birthing class, I’m thinking hours, my mom’s here, so it’s all good.) He says “are you sure you don’t want me to stay home?” “No, this will take hours” I say.

So off he goes to work, and I start feeling more cramps (stronger and uncomfortable) I then think ok, when I have my period, I sit in the shower with warm water (always makes me feel better). So I did…probably for an hour or so, and man were those contractions coming. While I was in the tub, I started using my cell phone and begin timing the contractions (probably not the brightest idea, I mean hello, phone and water… )
My mom was up I could hear her in the living room with the dogs. I really don’t know how long I was in the shower; I do know I was in there for awhile. My mom said she knew something was up, when I was up at 6:30 and in the shower for like an hour or so…The cramps, they were coming at this point I realized that this was it and I needed to call Casey. I got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around me and walked out and told my mom I was calling Casey. This was 8:00 AM ish.

Here they are all in a list- (I know I missed a few while getting ready for the hospital and while in the hospital- I also deleted a list that I had in the beginning because I was trying to figure out the program on my phone…lol But how cool it saved it?!):

Time-Duration (m:ss)-Frequency(m:ss)
8:32-1:24- 2:34
8:43-1:16 -2:32
8:54-1:14 -2:51
8:56-1:13 -2:54
9:01-1:18 -2:15
9:06-1:02- 2:33
9:07- 48s -1:45
9:09-1:59- 1:46
9:13-1:09 -3:23
9:15-1:18 -2:48
9:17-1:41 -1:56
9:19-1:11 -1:59
9:21-44s -2:06
9:24-1:05 -2:02
9:25-1:33 -1:44
9:28-1:15 -2:47
As you can see from the start of timing them they were very close together and lasting for a minute or more. After I told my mom that I was calling Casey, she was excited, but kept it in control, because she could tell I was uncomfortable. I remember saying to her “I’m not sure what to wear” (really Kerry?!), because I really didn’t want to move. I then decided to put on a sun dress it was the easiest thing to slip on. Then I realized my hair was a mess… I didn’t want to do it, so I asked my mom to braid it (that was the best thing, because then it would be out of my way the whole time and if I wanted for pics later, I could let it out and it would be wavy…yup, I was thinking about pictures..Lol)

Casey made it back home by 8:30AM, he then quick threw some stuff in a bag (yes, he didn’t prepare his little hospital bag like I did…lol-typical guy) we were in the car by 9-9:15. As we left, my mom said “ok, I’ll get daddy up and we’ll be at the hospital shortly”.

The car ride from the house to the hospital (20 minutes or so) was the WORST car ride ever! I mean the worst. All I wanted to do was stretch out especially when a contraction hit- as you can see from my list, they were very often…I was hugging a pillow and breathing through them all. Casey was holding my hand and trying not to speed, but to get there fast. (I remember telling him- “go easy on the bumps”, “watch the turns”-the shift of gravity or force made them a bit worse…I even remember saying “remember this lane ends, move over” yup giving directions…lol )

When we got to the hospital (9:25AM) I was relieved, Then I realized I would have to walk from the parking lot to the labor and delivery area. Well after two stops, for contractions, in the parking lot we made it through the entrance. Then I saw a chair and said I need to sit, I can’t go any further. So I sat and Casey went to one of the desks, they looked over, saw me and put me in a wheel chair and wheeled me to Labor and delivery (L&D).

They let us right through the “Security window” (just told Casey to come back after I get checked in) and there I was at the L&D desk. The nurse said “What brings you in today?” (Really?!) I said “Labor” They then said “ok, just fill out this form” (again really?! I’m in pain…luckily it was only a printed name and signature-treatment consent for me and baby).

Then one of the nurses wheeled me into an exam room (to see how dilated I was-I’m sure they get a lot of false labor and such they just wanted to make sure). On the way she asked “how do you feel about an epidural? Do you want one?” (Now my plan was to go as long as I could without getting one, and if the pain got to unbearable, to have one) I immediately said “YES!” (No doubt, I couldn’t stand the pain anymore) She said “ok”. When we got to the exam room, she said “take off all your clothes, and put this on (you know that sexy hospital gown). Man this was a painful task, I wished Casey was there to help, but he had to go back and check in (the L&D/mother baby is very secure). I got all undressed and in my gown and then got on the exam table (I apologized to the nurse, because I began to bleed a little and made a few marks on the floor- she said “don’t worry, your fine”).

She explained to me that she was going to see how dilated I was and then make a plan from there. So she did her little exam and said “Wow! Hunny your 8cm!!!!” She immediately got on her phone and called for the anesthesiologist and hooked me up to an IV. Then she and another nurse wheeled me on the bed to a delivery room, room 8 (this was my first ever hospital experience and taking a ride on a bed…lol). Once in the new room, I switched to the delivery bed and the anesthesiologist came in to talk about the epidural, side effects, yadda yadda yadda. At this point, I was like please just stick it in there, I’m hurting bad! Just like the car ride, sitting on the edge of the bed, curled over so they could get to the right spot was hard and painful, because when the contractions would hit, I wanted to stretch out, but couldn’t for that. Luckily, my L&D nurse was AMAZING and held my hand and talked me through the contractions that happened while the epidural was happening. Once I was all hooked up, she taped the tubing to my back so the catheter would stay in place, and then I was able to lie back down. The anesthesiologist then got on the other side of me and hooked up the drugs. She said “ok, I’m going to release the drugs you’ll feel cold go down your back and then it should work” Man, oh man was she correct. I felt the cold gush of fluid go down my back in the tubing and then my legs tingled and I felt no more pain!

Then the nurse said this is happening quick “we’ll let the epidural take over and check you in a few minutes. Then come in and break your water.”  The doctor came in and said “hello, congrats on this being your day. We are going to break your water, just to keep everything moving.” Wow! My water still didn’t break, no problem I’m thinking. So the doctor got her little crochet hook looking thing and popped the water. The nurse and doctor looked at it and both said “there is meconium in the fluid. We are going to call neonatologist to be here for the delivery in case the baby inhales any on the way out. When delivery happens, we will not be able to put him right on your chest, just to make sure he’s ok.” I was fine with that, I want to make sure that baby is fine. Even though all the breastfeeding people during the classes were like “he needs to get right on your chest…” Breastfeeding will not be hindered by not having him on my chest, he’s got to be healthy first. After the doctor and nurse left, I expressed to Casey that I was now nervous, because I began thinking the worst. If he inhales it, he’s going to need surgery right away. Ugh! Casey calmed me down, and said “everything is going to be ok. Just breathe. Whatever happens, he’s in good hands” He sure knows how to make me feel better.

The way things were happening so fast, I told Casey, “please call my parents and tell them to get here ASAP”. Right after the phone call, the nurse came back in and checked me and said, “Wow! You’re already 9-10 cm. I’m going to go talk to the doctor…” I’m thinking “Holy crap, 10 already, my parents better get their booties here” Luckily, like 15 minutes later, they walked in the door… Phew!

The doctor came in checked , and confirmed 10cm she also realized the little man (not named yet) was sunny side up (face up) and asked if I needed to push. I said, “Nope I’m comfortable”..She said “Ok, your little guy is face up, we would much rather have him face down. I’m going to give you some oxygen, nothing is wrong with baby, we just want to encourage him to turn over. You’re also going to lie on your left side.” I said, “Ok” so that’s when the Darth Vader mask came out… I so wish it just could have been the nose oxygen… but then again, I couldn’t have any fun making Spaceball and  Star Wars jokes… lol. You know the “Luke I am your father” type jokes. My mom, Casey and I were cracking up. This was around 11:00am. The oxygen made me very thirsty, so this is where the classic ice chips came to play…a God send. Around 11:30am she came back in and said that the doctor was with another woman who was having a bit of trouble pushing and if I needed to go, she could call someone else. I said “Nope, I’m good. I can wait for my doctor.”

The nurse came back in and checked in on me around 12:00pm. She then said that we were going to set up to push. I was thinking, holy crap it’s time to meet my little man. I was so excited, and then I got scared thinking I’m not going to know when or how to push, since I was so comfortable (couldn’t feel the contractions). I asked the nurse, and she said “Don’t worry, we’ll work together (meaning, the 4 of us- Casey, my mom, her, and myself), we will follow your contractions on the screen.” Those made me feel so much better.

Now came time for the positioning of me and having Casey and my mom be my leg support. Since I laid on my left side for that extra hour, my left leg was a lot deader than my right, I could pick my own right leg up, and I had some trouble with the left. Luckily, my mom was there to help. The nurse said at around 12:30pm “we are going to do a set of practice pushes. You’re going to take a deep breath, push like you’re going to the bathroom and hold for ten seconds. You’re going to repeat three times. That will be one set.” Ok, this is my moment… I then was like gee, I hope I do this right… the nurse than said, “Alright, here comes a contraction, let’s get her feet into position, and PUSH” and so I did, I completed my first set. The nurse said “great job, which was like you’ve done this before” Then began my 22 pushes, 7 sets of 3 + one very last one to get him out.

In the heat and excitement of the moment, I forgot to ask for a mirror so I could see this all happening. Luckily (seems to be my favorite word in the story…lol), the big delivery light that was on the ceiling has a clear glass panel in front of it, which in turn made it a mirror for me. I was excited, but didn’t say anything to Casey or my mom. One reason why is because I had made such a big deal about making sure they didn’t tell me if I pooped…well I’ll oet that over with, I did and whatever, the nurse was awesome at cleaning it up, and Casey or my mom didn’t say anything. Well, as I’m pushing and watching myself, I’m also taking in Casey’s face and listening to my mom encourage me. Finally, I could see my little man’s head, which meant so could everyone else, it was amazing! Slightly weird looking, because it was so coned, but amazing. The nurse got the doctor in the room for the final few pushes. His head then came out. I had to hold on pushing for a second so the doctor could get his shoulders in position, then my last set of pushes. “Ok, Kerry, push he’s almost out.” And so I did. Now this is the thing I remember feeling the most, his shoulders coming out. I remember the feeling like pop pop… but not really. As that was happening doctor said after my third push “one more big one Kerry” and out he came. At 1:32pm a beautiful 10.3 lb 22 in bouncing baby boy!

After looking at my son come out and get taken to the neonatologist, my eyes immediately shifted to Casey’s face. He was smiling and in tears watching his son be moved too. He was so happy and in love. He gave me the biggest kiss ever. Then walked over to where our baby was. My mom gave me a kiss on the head and was just as happy and amazed (no tears though- she blames that on her hysterectomy-that it took her crying mechanism away). She said she never experienced anything like this, since I was a c-section. My mom backed up and let Casey in to my left side (that’s where baby was) he was holding my hand and looking at our son and me. The neonatologist began his little exam. Casey looked at me and said “What are we going to name him?” I said “Ethan” and Casey said “yeah, he doesn’t have red hair. If he had red hair we would go with the other” After the neonatologist said baby was all clear they started cleaning him, Casey went to his side, and wrapping him up. Casey then realized that I haven’t held him yet, and kept bugging the nurses, “Can she hold him? When is she going to hold him?” The nurse looked at him and said she will have him in a second, we want to make sure he’s ok.” I said to Casey “relax, I will hold him.”

Now while all this was happening, I still had to deliver the after birth (placenta)… it didn’t take long, took about 10-15 minutes. Before it came out, the doctor stretched out my umbilical cord and wow! It was long… Casey couldn’t get over it. As the placenta came out, I can’t remember if I had to push or not, it was kind of gross. It was huge and plopped into a bowl with a bit of blood. Casey almost lost it when he saw that. Leading up to this, Casey had been making jokes about making soup and such from it… ha-ha backfire… lol. Also, Casey was worried about being grossed out by the birth, he wasn’t.

I was oblivious to what was going on down south, because I was so focused on Ethan on the left side of me. Casey and my mom were aware and the doctor said “I can’t stop the bleeding. I do not have the proper equipment for this. Please get deep tissue sutures!” My mom and Casey became slightly uncomfortable. My mom thought that it was my uterus bleeding out and if the doctor couldn’t stop it, it would have to be removed. Casey thought back to his mom when she hemorrhaged with his older brother almost dying (got last rights from the priest in hospital). I’m glad I wasn’t really aware of it. While the doctor was waiting for the deep tissue sutures, she kept gauzing the area that was bleeding and then realized that it was the tearing I received from a sunny side up baby. Once the suture kit and tools arrived, she began suturing me up and explained that I had third degree tears. That means-“ a third-degree tear extending downwards from the vaginal wall and perineum to the anal sphincter, the muscle that controls the anus.” I kind of got scared once she said sphincter. I thought if it didn’t heal right, I would not be able to control my bowl movements. The stitching took a while. It felt like there were layers and layers of stitches. All of them were on the inside and dissolvable. Once she was done, she said it’s all good we will leave the epidural in a little longer because of the tearing (I was grateful for that).

While I was being stitched. I got to have Ethan next to me, well my head. Then I finally got him in my arms. Oh! I loved him from the start. I still couldn’t believe I just pushed out a 10.3 lb 22 in baby.  Well it was time for him to get a bath with dad and be monitored for an hour- heart rate, temp, and other stuff. Casey went with baby.

The nurse cathered me, which was funny, because I never had the urge to pee during or after labor. However it filled fast… lol she brought me a huge glass of water, which was something I soooo wanted and also got food brought to me. Let me tell you it was the best turkey wrap, cookie and bag of chips I tasted. I was starving (in all seriousness, it totally wasn’t bad hospital food it was tasty).  After I ate, I was in the room alone, and dozed off. Woke up a few times to thunder. I’m thinking that that’s what helped me go into labor the barometric pressure change.

The nurse came in and said it was time to go to mother baby room. Before I left, I asked if I could have the original receiving blanket Ethan was wrapped in for Casey to bring home to the doggies so they could get used to his smell. The nurse said that they don’t normally do that, but she cleaned up the area, and seemed to “forget” to clean up that blanket..So we snatched it. Casey was just getting back from the nursery too.  I actually was able to stand up and move to the wheel chair. I was definitely sore, but couldn’t get over the fact that I was able to walk. We got to room 288 and I again stood up and moved into bed. The new mother/baby nurses came in and introduced themselves and began my pain medicine…this was a good thing, because I was beginning to become aware of the pain and I didn’t like it. Once I got on the regimen I was fine. The only other problem was, even with all the water I was drinking (the oxygen made my mouth so dry) I didn’t have to use the restroom. Well the night time nurse, who I loved to pieces, she was so nice, made me get up to go. We got into the bathroom; she helped me from beginning to end, and showed me how to care for my southern area. I couldn’t go. While I was in there, I felt like I was going to pass out (from blood loss- they tested me and figured out I lost about a pint + some…that’s a lot). She got one of those ammonia packets… phew! That stuff will definitely wake you up. She got me back into bed and cathed me. She checked my orders and it said if I didn’t use the restroom tonight they would have to do a permanent cath… so from that moment on I was on a mission to drink water and more water. Finally, at about 12 AM I called for her and was able to go!

May 10, 2012

Ethan was in the room with us and I was able to feed him 3 times. During his stay he would be taken out of the room every few hours to have his blood sugars checked, since he was a big baby. When they took him at 12AM… I dozed off and when I woke up he still wasn’t back. I paged the nurse, because it was time for me to feed him. They then told me that he was in the NICU. His breathing was very quick so they needed to observe and take care of him. I immediately woke Casey up, because I began to freak out and couldn’t get out of bed. He went to go check on the situation and he said that they aren’t sure what the cause is, and they are going to do an x-ray and monitor over night. The reason he was taken there was because he was breathing too quickly.  I wasn’t ready to go back to sleep I was so worried about Ethan. Casey tried to calm me and told me to shut my eyes and relax…that was hard but it worked. I love my hubby.
Overnight, I didn’t get my pain pills and woke up in severe pain. As soon as I got the pills, I wanted to go to the NICU to see Ethan. This was the worst thing ever. We got a wheel chair and Casey wheeled me to him. We were able to talk to the doctor and he concluded that he is breathing quickly (normal breaths are 20-40 he was breathing 60-70) to aspirate a bit of fluid (amniotic) he inhaled during birth. I immediately asked about the meconium, and he ruled that out. He said that they will treat him for pneumonia with antibiotics. Unfortunately, they have to be given in an IV for 7 days. He said they would do another x-ray before I’m discharged to see if there is improvement and then he could come home. We also got to see our pediatrician to and since he was in the NICU, there isn’t much she could do. Just to call the office when he gets out.
I was able to take my first shower (felt amazing- had a lot of help from my mom- Casey went home to shower and take care of the girls) and I stayed with Ethan most of the day coming back for my medicines and check ins. The nurses were really good about it and understood I was stressing about Ethan. The doctor came in and gave me a check up and said that we will be going with the normal discharge. Out the next day.

May 11, 2012

Unfortunately, I was discharged and Ethan was unable to come home. He needed to stay for 5 more days. Luckily, they counted the first two days there as treatment on the antibiotics, so it wasn’t an extra 7…
When I was discharged, I immediately went to his room and was all set and ready to sleep there the 5 days. Which I would have been allowed. I’m thankful that Ethan had his own room in the NICU where I could be able to do that. I know that there are some NICUs where it’s like a garden of babies.

Casey convinced me it wasn’t good for my head to stay there for the 5 days, but to come home and sleep at home and go back first thing in the am… he was right, but the first time I came home it was bad. I cried the way home I didn’t want to leave him… Casey just held my hand and let me cry. He understood. Then I got myself under control and then we pulled in the driveway… my parents had decorated the house with and “it’s a boy!” stuff and blue ribbons… that made me spiral to tears again, because I was home and baby wasn’t…I walked through the house and said as little as possible, brought the dogs outside and just cried… and cried… my mom set up a nice little “bed” for me on the couch. So when I was done, I went and sat there…drifting in TV shows…Only thinking about going back to the hospital to see my baby. We went back after dinner and stayed till 1 AM.

I think that this post is long enough, I will make another about Ethan’s stay and breastfeeding stress and so on. I’m going to catch this blog up and keep up with it.


*I Loved my hospital and stay… its more like a Spa when you go!

*Disclaimer – my birth story is 100% what happened, based on my own personal opinions and beliefs. I am not one to judge any mom for the decisions they make for their own births nor do I encourage anyone to think my birth story as the way it always goes. I hope that you will educate yourselves so that you are effectively able to advocate for you and your baby.